Putting Glentropy on notice
I read a fascinating article at the Jewish World Review (where I go to read the comics and the occasional editorial) by Jonathan Rosenblum, "Confessions of a 'Smart Kid' " and it got me to thinking hard about my baby son Glen. According to Carol Dweck of Stanford University, students who see themselves as talented or intelligent can get the idea that their talent or intelligence is fixed. They avoid failure and often do not attempt things that challenge them because they see an immediate lack of success as failure. Students who may be less naturally gifted but accustomed to working hard toward a goal often do better in the long run.
Interestingly, I know my kids have to struggle with social skills and have made an effort to help them develop these. But Glen has so many natural aptitudes for academic subjects that I've gone about things all wrong there. Instead of pointing out his talent in math, or science, or computer animation, or whatever, I should have been figuring out how to help him enjoy the challenge when he has to work a little harder to accomplish a goal. I had to sit with him during class and hover over him while he did his homework to get him through calculus - and he got an "A." This was after he'd dropped two different statistics classes and a trigonometry class. Based on what he said (and didn't say) he saw any difficulty in immediately understanding the material as a failure on his part, and rather than stay in a slightly challenging class and learn what he could, he dropped it.
A much healthier attitude toward learning seeks growth and improvement. Ability is not fixed from birth, as my kids' social lives will attest. If I can just get Glen to stretch himself in other areas and not quit trying if he doesn't experience immediate success, that would be great. So now I need to figure out how to get him to start exercising his brain.
As a start, I should commend him when he puts out extra effort, as he did on last semester's final 3ds Max animation project, and not comment on his natural artistic talent. I definitely don't want to continue saying things like, "You're good at that." Having had a lot of the "smart kid" disinclination to work hard myself, if not to the degree Glen has it, I know it's not too late to help Glen readjust his attitude toward trying new challenges, at least somewhat.
Interestingly, I know my kids have to struggle with social skills and have made an effort to help them develop these. But Glen has so many natural aptitudes for academic subjects that I've gone about things all wrong there. Instead of pointing out his talent in math, or science, or computer animation, or whatever, I should have been figuring out how to help him enjoy the challenge when he has to work a little harder to accomplish a goal. I had to sit with him during class and hover over him while he did his homework to get him through calculus - and he got an "A." This was after he'd dropped two different statistics classes and a trigonometry class. Based on what he said (and didn't say) he saw any difficulty in immediately understanding the material as a failure on his part, and rather than stay in a slightly challenging class and learn what he could, he dropped it.
A much healthier attitude toward learning seeks growth and improvement. Ability is not fixed from birth, as my kids' social lives will attest. If I can just get Glen to stretch himself in other areas and not quit trying if he doesn't experience immediate success, that would be great. So now I need to figure out how to get him to start exercising his brain.
As a start, I should commend him when he puts out extra effort, as he did on last semester's final 3ds Max animation project, and not comment on his natural artistic talent. I definitely don't want to continue saying things like, "You're good at that." Having had a lot of the "smart kid" disinclination to work hard myself, if not to the degree Glen has it, I know it's not too late to help Glen readjust his attitude toward trying new challenges, at least somewhat.
posted by Jeannette | 11:41 AM
3 Comments:
Note this doesn’t necessarily require external influence (as you are in the case of Glen) – simply informing the person of the mechanism can help them just as much.
Knowing that just because you feel some particular way doesn’t mean the feeling reflects reality is a valuable realisation in general. (It’s a vital skill for those coping with depression, f.ex.) Simply having conscious awareness of the fact that immediate failure does not equate to a permanent condition will make a difference, although it still requires conscious effort because the comes-easily rush the gifted get from things that, well, come easily to them is addictive and makes a hard mental habit to break.
If I could get Glen to read my blog on the subject, that would help a lot. I think understanding the mechanism will go a long way toward effecting improvement.
law school has helped me get over thinking that i should just be smart enough to get it. the key is that any one can get it, but it's really hard work to get through all the material and glean the rule from that.
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